The Shields Painting Difference: Perfection with Every Brush Stroke
Many painting companies in Florida rely on flashy marketing and big promises to try and attract new clients. But when it comes time to work, they fall short of their promises. This is often due to a lack of experience, qualified painters, and a drive to overachieve. At Shields Painting, we do things a little differently than other painting companies in Citrus County. We believe that a professional paint job should be as close to perfect as possible. Our goal is to leave you 100% satisfied, whether we're touching up an old residential paint job or performing a complex commercial project. It might sound simple, but we achieve that goal through honesty, hard work, beautiful results, and reasonable pricing.
As a family-owned and operated painting company in Spring Hill, FL, we strive to provide personalized, professional, and friendly service. Shields Painting has been in business since 1968 for a good reason. Whenever possible, we go the extra mile to make sure our customers are happy. Unlike some of our competition, we want to know all about your house or business painting project: your vision, your preferences, your challenges, and your goals. When we understand your needs, we can present you with a fantastic final product - one that you're proud to show off to friends and neighbors.
At Shields Painting, we combine our extensive experience with time-tested, meticulous painting processes, resulting in the highest quality painting results around. As a painting contractor in Citrus County, we can take on a variety of residential, commercial, and industrial projects in Florida.
A few of our most popular painting services include:
- Interior Painting
- Exterior Painting
- Residential Painting
- Commercial Painting
- Cabinet Painting
- Ceiling Painting
- Fence Painting
- Sign Painting
- MUCH More!
Our commercial, industrial, and residential painting contractors take the proper steps to protect your property and belongings while we work. Our team will clean up after ourselves, so your property is left clean and free of debris when we're done. After all, we think there's only one way to do a job, and that's the right way.
Painting Services

Eco-friendly & clean work area.

PDCA Certified Member.

Your Go-To House Painting Company in Spring Hill, FL
Your home is a haven of relaxation and solitude. It is uniquely you - a place where you can express who you are through style and design. Whether you need interior touch-ups for your crown molding or a new exterior coat of paint, hiring a reliable painting contractor is the best way to get quality results.
At Shields Painting, we know how important it is to have a home that highlights your tastes and personality. That's why we offer an extensive array of residential painting services in Citrus County. As tempting as it might be to try a DIY paint job, without the proper skills and experience, there is a good chance that the results will turn out less than satisfactory.
High-quality painting requires skill, experience, and patience. If you're a homeowner who needs residential painting services but doesn't have the time, patience, or skills to handle the job, look no further than Shields Painting. We offer accuracy, precision, and longevity with each paint job we perform. Our customers choose Shields Painting for their home because they receive:
- Free Quotes with Detailed Project Breakdowns
- Affordable Pricing
- Expert Painting Contractors
- High-Quality Paint Products
- Combo of Traditional and Modern Techniques
- Well-Maintained Tools
- Unmatched Craftsmanship
- Friendly, Personalized Service
- Good Old-Fashioned Hard Work!
The majority of our house painting services come in two forms: interior and exterior.
Interior Residential Painting
As an interior painting contractor with decades of experience, our expert technicians have developed an interior painting process that maximizes quality and emphasizes customer satisfaction. We understand that interior painting goes beyond aesthetics. It protects your ceilings and walls and helps you sustain a healthier place to live for your family. When only the finest craftsmanship will do inside your home, Shields Painting is here for you.
Our seasoned team of painting experts and craftsmen is dedicated to respecting your space and providing you with the look and feel you're craving inside your home. Whether you bought a new house and want to make it your own or need minor touch-ups but have no time, Shields Painting is ready to tackle the job, no matter how small or large.
Unlike some painting companies, our interior house painters take the time to get the details right, every time. For instance, color is only one aspect of your interior paint job. The paint sheen or finish is just as important. Certain finishes are better for living rooms and bedrooms than in kitchens and bathrooms. We'll help you find the right finish and paint colors for your home, so you don't have to worry about touch-ups or repainting.
Some of our most popular interior house painting services include:
- Ceiling Painting
- Popcorn Ceiling Removal
- Living Room Painting
- Bathroom Painting
- Basement Painting
- Color Consultations
- More

Cabinet Painting
Citrus County cabinet painting deserves its own section on this page because it requires more time, skill, and quality paint than most sections of your home. If your home's cabinets are built into its woodwork, replacing them can be obnoxiously expensive. Compared to the cost of installing new cabinets, painting your kitchen cabinets is much more affordable.
At Shields Painting, we specialize in transforming old cabinets into new, gorgeous features that are just as usable as they are beautiful. Each step of our cabinet painting process is meticulous and thorough. And we'll take care of the entire job, from cleaning, prep, and sanding to priming, painting, and reassembly. This unique service lets you enjoy a brand-new look in your kitchen without having to go into debt by replacing your cabinets.
Whether your cabinets are new, but you want to change their color or you'd like to transition wood cabinets to a painted finish, Shields Painting has the expertise and experience to give you a new look you'll love.

Exterior Residential Painting
Your home - it's a place that not only keeps your belongings safe. It protects your family and loved ones, too. It's one of your largest investments, and like anything else of value, it should be protected. However, Florida weather can take a toll on your home's structure and paint, lowering your home's value and even putting your family at risk.
While it's true that a beautiful exterior affects your house's value, it shouldn't take thousands of remodeling dollars to make a positive change to your home. There's a fine line between reasonable pricing and top-quality painting, and that sweet spot is what Shields Painting aims for. If you want to transform how your friends and neighbors see your home, never underestimate the power of a professional paint job.
Our exterior residential painting services are designed to boost curb appeal, give your home a fresh look, and help it stand up to Florida's unique weather. But we provide more than that. When you hire Shields Painting for your outdoor painting project, you will enjoy peace of mind in knowing that your home is in truly capable hands. Our goal is to exceed your expectations and help bring out the best in your property, whether you need to re-stain your deck or remove old, peeling paint from your siding.
If you're on the hunt for the very best exterior painting contractor in Spring Hill, FL, look no further than Shields Painting.
Some of our most popular exterior house painting services include:
- Vinyl Siding Painting
- Deck Painting and Staining
- Stucco Exterior Painting
- Wood Exterior Painting
- Porch Painting and Staining
- Soffit Painting
- Fascia Painting
- Window Painting
- Front Door Painting
- Thorough Painting Prep
- More

The Premier Commercial Painting Company in Spring Hill, FL
When it comes to first impressions, your businesses' appearance plays an important role. Your commercial property's paint job factors into its overall aesthetics. A great-looking, well-maintained paint job can mean the difference between a customer walking in your storefront and passing by. Conversely, an old, worn-out commercial paint job can send the wrong message to prospective customers. If you can't take the time to keep up your property's appearance, why would a customer spend their hard-earned money on your products?
The same goes for your businesses' interior paint. Would you want to do business with a company that has peeling paint or unsightly crown molding? At Shield's Painting, our goal is to create a beautiful environment that your customers and employees will love inside and out. When you work with our business painters, you can rest easy knowing we treat your business like it were our own. We always clean up after ourselves and know that operations cannot come to a halt just because we're painting. As such, we'll work with your busy schedule to ensure the job gets done right the first time without disrupting your day-to-day commitments.
With decades of commercial painting experience, we know the demands of a commercial painting project necessitate a disciplined and focused approach from the start. Our team of business painters is committed to delivering quality, on-time results on every project, every time - no excuses

We offer professional business painting services to a variety of building types, including:

01
Industrial Painting
A high level of care and finesse are required to effectively paint an industrial property. At Shields Painting, we know that industrial paint jobs involve much more than aesthetics. That's why our industrial services are customized to your specifications, using industrial-grade materials that stand up to heavy-duty operations.
02
Retail Store Painting
Our commercial painters apply effective, yet appealing interior and exterior paint that stand up to the daily rigors of busy retail environments.


03
Small Business Painting
Do you own a restaurant franchise? Have a small "mom and pop" location that needs a fresh coat of paint? Shields Painting has the resources and reliability to efficiently get the job done the first time. That way, you can focus on serving your customers, not having your business repainted.
04
Healthcare Location Painting
From walk-in clinics to long-term care facilities, Shields Painting is sensitive to your patients' needs. We know you must protect your patient's privacy while maintaining productivity. Our approach to healthcare location painting centers around your schedule to avoid disruptions in care.


05
Apartment Complex Painting
Erase signs of wear and make your apartment complex or multi-family building a more desirable place to live with a stunning, professional paint job.
Florida's Most Trusted Painting Contractor
Shields Painting has been in the business since 1968. In a world where so much has changed, we are proud to uphold the ideals that make us successful: hard, honest work, getting the job done right, and excellent customer service. Providing you with trustworthy, quality work will always take priority over rushing through a project to serve the next customer. That is just not the way we choose to do business.
As professionals dedicated to perfection, we strive to provide a unique painting experience for every customer - one that focuses on their needs and desires instead of our own. Whether you need residential painting for your home or commercial painting for your business, we encourage you to reach out today to speak with our customer service team. Whether you have big ideas about a new paint project or need our expertise and guidance, we look forward to hearing from you soon.

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Latest News in Spring Hill, FL
Mandatory Evacuations in Hernando County
Hernando County Office of Public Informationhttps://www.hernandosun.com/2022/09/27/mandatory-evacuations-in-hernando-county/
(Brooksville, FL) – Hernando County Emergency Management continues to monitor Hurricane Ian.Evacuation Orders and Public Shelter Openings Mandatory Evacuations have been issued for all areas west of US 19, which includes evacuation zones A, B, and C. All residents living in coastal and low-lying areas, as well as manufactured homes county-wide, are included. Residents are advised to seek safe shelter with family or friends that reside in a safe structure. If this is not a possibility, a public shelter will open at 9 a.m. today T...
(Brooksville, FL) – Hernando County Emergency Management continues to monitor Hurricane Ian.
Evacuation Orders and Public Shelter Openings Mandatory Evacuations have been issued for all areas west of US 19, which includes evacuation zones A, B, and C. All residents living in coastal and low-lying areas, as well as manufactured homes county-wide, are included. Residents are advised to seek safe shelter with family or friends that reside in a safe structure. If this is not a possibility, a public shelter will open at 9 a.m. today Tuesday, September 27, 2022 at the below address for residents in these areas.
Challenger K-8 – Special Needs 13400 Elgin Blvd., Spring Hill, FL 34609
***If you are needing the Special Needs Shelter and have a pet, transportation from either your house or shelter location for your pet is done through Animal Control with Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. Please call Hernando County Public Information Center at 352-754-4083 to arrange pick up.***
The Mining Association Enrichment Center – General Population and Pet Friendly 800 John Gary Grubbs Blvd., Brooksville, FL 34601
Explorer K-8 – General Population and Pet Friendly 10252 Northcliffe Blvd., Spring Hill, FL 34608
Pet Friendly Shelter Tips: Hernando County Animal Services tips for Pet Friendly Sheltering during declared emergencies. Our citizens and their animals are housed in separate sections of the designated shelter(s). Designated shelters are typically Hernando County Schools. Animals will be housed in crates in a different location than where general population is located. If you need to seek shelter with your pet during a declared emergency the following list will help you be prepared: Bring your own appropriately sized crate (County resources are limited) Bring all your dogs required medications Bring several days’ worth of your animals’ food Ensure your dog is current on all vaccinations Bring your own leash and collar. Ensure your dog is trained to walk on a leash Bring any toys and/or bedding that will make your animal comfortable. If your animal is fearful or shy, bring sheets to cover the crate while still allowing airflow. If you bring a crate place something unique on it to distinguish it from others. Understand that your animal will not be housed in the same section as you; however, you will have access to your animal. Do not buy different snacks or food for the animal that they are not accustomed to, this will often cause the animals to have digestive issues; particularly when they are already stressed. If your animal has any propensity to bite animals or humans, please obtain and utilize a muzzle. Bring spray cleaner, paper towels etc., to be able to clean your animal’s crate.
Sandbag Locations:
Linda Pedersen Park 6300 Shoal Line Blvd. Spring Hill, FL 34609
Anderson Snow Park 1360 Anderson Snow Rd. Spring Hill, FL 34609 *Enter through the service road between the park and the gymnastics place, the sand is located at the end.
Ridge Manor Community Center 34240 Cortez Blvd. Ridge Manor, FL 33523
City of Brooksville DPW 600 S Brooksville Ave. Brooksville, FL 34601
These self-serve sandbag sites will remain open until weather conditions begin to deteriorate. This is a self-serve sandbag site ONLY, please bring your own shovel.
Hernando County Government’s Office of Emergency Management continues to monitor and inform our community about storm impacts. Visit the following web and social media sites for more information.
For the latest local conditions and a complete list of news alerts go to www.HernandoCounty.us/em Sign up to receive weather alerts at www.AlertHernando.org Follow us on Facebook @HernandoCoGov Follow us on Twitter @HernandoCoGov
Stay tuned as more information becomes available. Visit the Hernando County Emergency Management website at www.HernandoCounty.us/EM for all storm-related notices.
For questions or more information, please contact Hernando County’s Public Information Center at (352) 754-4083.
St. Petersburg residents see fallen trees, damaged buildings in wake of tornado, storms
Tampa Bay Timeshttps://www.tampabay.com/weather/2022/12/15/tornado-watch-tampa-bay-florida-weather-forecast/
On Thursday morning, 40-year-old Amber Byers of St. Petersburg heard “one of the most horrible sounds” she’s ever heard.A tree crashed into the front window of her rental home on 9th Avenue North, right next to her Christmas tree. Her son had been sitting on the couch nearby and jumped up just moments before, she said. Fortunately, though, no one in the house was injured.Just down the road, another tree collapsed on top of All Children’s Academy, a preschool on the grounds of St. Vincent’s Episcopa...
On Thursday morning, 40-year-old Amber Byers of St. Petersburg heard “one of the most horrible sounds” she’s ever heard.
A tree crashed into the front window of her rental home on 9th Avenue North, right next to her Christmas tree. Her son had been sitting on the couch nearby and jumped up just moments before, she said. Fortunately, though, no one in the house was injured.
Just down the road, another tree collapsed on top of All Children’s Academy, a preschool on the grounds of St. Vincent’s Episcopal Church, damaging the roof and leaking water into the building. Roughly 40 kids and 8 staffers were evacuated from the school.
“We’re so thankful none of the children were hurt, nobody was hurt,” said Alex Andujar, the priest in charge of St. Vincent’s.
No children were in any of the classrooms where the tree struck, said the preschool’s owner, Ricardo Griffith. They were using the restrooms on the other side of the building before nap time.
The buildings were damaged during a weather system Thursday that included a confirmed EF1 tornado and left behind scattered debris, flooded streets and power outages in its wake.
The weather service measures tornado strength using the Enhanced Fujita scale, which ranges from EF0 to EF5. An EF1 rating is the second-lowest of the six classifications, with winds between 86-110 mph.
The National Weather Service issued a tornado watch for all of central Florida, including Tampa Bay, from about 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Thursday, ahead of a line of showers and thunderstorms that rode along a cold front. Parts of Tampa Bay were under an assortment of weather watches and advisories throughout the day.
A tornado watch has been issued for parts of Florida until 4 PM EST pic.twitter.com/ijYRJkgCbn
— NWS Tampa Bay (@NWSTampaBay) December 15, 2022
Photos from Fox 13 reporter Evan Axelbank showed a 7-Eleven in Spring Hill with a roof that had collapsed.
In Tampa, police shut down North 22nd Street from Meridel Avenue to East Bougainvillea Avenue on Thursday afternoon due to flooding.
Outage maps for Duke Energy and Tampa Electric Co. showed around 8,500 customers in Tampa Bay without power late Thursday morning. By around 5 p.m. Thursday, the companies reported that fewer than 700 outages remained.
Severe Thunderstorm Warning including Clearwater FL, Spring Hill FL and Palm Harbor FL until 11:30 AM EST pic.twitter.com/zvBPss8NtC
— NWS Tampa Bay (@NWSTampaBay) December 15, 2022
The Storm Prediction Center defines a severe storm as any storm that contains at least one of the following weather events: wind gusts of 58 mph or higher, hail at least 1-inch in diameter or a tornado.
At Byers’ house in St. Petersburg, faintly flashing Christmas lights strung from the roof tangled with the fallen tree, jutting into her living room. Reindeer decor was knocked under the tree. A car she had just recently purchased, however, was spared.
Byers said she was grateful that none of her loved ones were injured.
“Things can be repaired,” Byers said. “People can’t.”
We have a risk of damaging thunderstorms this morning along the Nature Coast and this afternoon south of Interstate 4 late morning or afternoon. Be ready to take shelter if strong storms approach. #flwx pic.twitter.com/s9BVRZtrdS
— NWS Tampa Bay (@NWSTampaBay) December 15, 2022
Infrared imagery from #GOESEast this morning is tracking a large winter storm system currently bringing heavy snow and blizzard conditions to parts of the northern Plains & Upper Midwest. To the South, severe thunderstorms are bringing a threat for tornadoes to central Florida. pic.twitter.com/yYOeOOzbzL
— NOAA Satellites (@NOAASatellites) December 15, 2022
According to Daniel Noah, a meteorologist with the Weather Service’s Tampa Bay office, the system spanned the eastern two-thirds of the country.
“We’re just more tropical in nature, so we have moisture and we just have a chance of isolated severe thunderstorms today and tornadoes, and we’ll get through it,” Noah said.
Spring Hill Construction, a Construction Company in Brandon, FL, Delivers High-Quality Services at Competitive Prices
Digital Journalhttps://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/spring-hill-construction-a-construction-company-in-brandon-fl-delivers-high-quality-services-at-competitive-prices
Brandon, FL: Spring Hill Construction is one of the leading Brandon FL construction companies that offer professional services. Some of the services they offer include drywall installation and repair services. Besides the experts adding a layer of protection between the house and the outside world, they offer endless finishing options.Spring Hill Construction offers drywall texturing to hide imperfections and ensure the walls reflect mor...
Brandon, FL: Spring Hill Construction is one of the leading Brandon FL construction companies that offer professional services. Some of the services they offer include drywall installation and repair services. Besides the experts adding a layer of protection between the house and the outside world, they offer endless finishing options.
Spring Hill Construction offers drywall texturing to hide imperfections and ensure the walls reflect more light. The team is conversant with a wide range of finishes from Venetian, Orange Peel, Skip Trowel, and Slap Brush to Mud Swirl — giving clients more options. And considering the finishes require professionals attentive to details and meticulous in their efforts, Spring Hill Construction only employs highly trained and experienced contractors.
Commercial and residential clients can work with the company to transform their exterior and interior spaces through professional painting services. Whether they want fresh paint applied on their wall or old wallpaper removed, the experts deliver the highest quality services. They also use quality products to match the quality of workmanship, extensive planning, and superior customer service.
In addition, the residential & commercial general contractor in Brandon Florida offers siding and remodeling services. Whether the property owner wants a more comfortable home or to increase the home’s resale value, the company is dedicated to turning ideas into reality. Spring Hill Construction has an experienced siding team and good customer service to handle communications before and during installation. They are also transparent on costs and project timelines.
Homeowners with walls showing decay or interested in restoring original beauty can contact the company for stucco installation and repairs. Regardless of the client’s reason for opting for a brand-new finish, the company uses the best-known materials to ensure the new installation passes the test of time. Like other services, the team plans and utilizes advanced practices and techniques when repairing or installing stucco.
Spring Hill Construction also offers popcorn removal from ceilings. Apart from ensuring the process is not messy, stressful, and tedious, they put measures to protect the client’s furniture, floors, and walls. One of the many ways of successfully removing a popcorn ceiling without messy floors and walls is by using plastic to secure gaps, especially in areas where debris can flow.
When speaking about the company and the services, one client noted: “I have an older home with unique problems. The solutions provided by Spring Hill Construction were creative and better than I thought possible. The workmanship was excellent, the workers courteous, and they left no mess behind. I highly recommend them.”
Spring Hill Construction is located at 1103 Westbury Pointe Dr #103, Brandon, FL, 33511, US. Commercial and residential clients interested in painting, siding, texturing, drywall installation services or other services can contact the company at 813-448-7530. Visit the paint contractor’s website for more information.
Media Contact
Company Name Spring Hill Construction Contact Name Office Manager Phone 813-448-7530 Address 1103 Westbury Pointe Dr #103 City Brandon State FL Postal Code 33511 Country United States Website https://springhillconstruction.com/
COMTEX_421262257/2759/2022-12-22T11:55:50
APD Foundation Repair is Florida’s trusted Concrete Contractor Reputed for Advanced, Premier Services in Spring Hill
Digital Journalhttps://www.digitaljournal.com/pr/apd-foundation-repair-is-floridas-trusted-concrete-contractor-reputed-for-advanced-premier-services-in-spring-hill
Spring Hill, FL – APD Foundation Repair is Florida’s trusted foundation and concrete company reputed for advanced concrete and stabilization services offered at affordable prices. The concrete contractor handles all types of concrete and foundational needs for residential and commercial facilities.APD Foundation Repair is a full general contractor licensed sinkhole repair company. They are also experts in concrete repair, foundation repair, crawl space repair, and trip hazard repair. Their other services i...
Spring Hill, FL – APD Foundation Repair is Florida’s trusted foundation and concrete company reputed for advanced concrete and stabilization services offered at affordable prices. The concrete contractor handles all types of concrete and foundational needs for residential and commercial facilities.
APD Foundation Repair is a full general contractor licensed sinkhole repair company. They are also experts in concrete repair, foundation repair, crawl space repair, and trip hazard repair. Their other services include Florida soil stabilization and helical piles, drainage, compaction grouting, and more.
The concrete expert also offers affordable foundation solutions, such as pre-construction piers installed to protect new buildings from settling and sinkholes. They also offer new construction underpinning services, one of the most popular methods to prevent future foundation problems.
Their foundation and crawl space services entail the installation of steel piers, concrete piers, and helical piers for the slab, power and beam foundation, pools, bridges, decks, pipeline, and solar applications. They also offer concrete lifting on sidewalks, driveways, homes, and businesses. Their grouting services entail densifying loose granular soil and stabilizing subsurface voids.
The foundation repair in Spring Hill, FL prides itself in serving over 2500 trusted customers all over central Florida. Their crew has a combined experience of over 50 years in the industry offering top-notch services, and this has earned them hundreds of 5-star ratings on various platforms. They perform a free inspection and explain what needs to be done to re-level existing concrete slabs, pool decks, foundations, and other related concrete projects.
APD Foundation Repair is family-owned and operated and therefore extends specialized services and affordable prices to its clients. They guarantee the best warranties in the industry, offer free estimates emailed instantly to clients, sealed engineering reports, and military discounts.
A happy client had this to say about their services, “I strongly recommend the company for any foundation issues, repairs, and general maintenance. We had just bought a new home and didn’t realize it had foundation issues that are prevalent in the area. We contacted several companies for evaluation and quotes and they had the best prices. We had helical piers, drainage, and deep foam injections done. The crew was organized and professional and went above and beyond our expectations.”
APD Foundation Repair has been in the foundation and soil industry since the late 90s. With over two decades, they bring a wealth of experience helping home and business owners enjoy peace of mind knowing their structures are stable and not at risk in case of extreme weather and other natural calamities.
APD Foundation Repair is located at 13049 Spring Hill Dr, Spring Hill, FL, 34609, US. To get a free evaluation and other inquiries on their concrete services clients can call the company at 352-200-9740 or visit their website for more information on their services.
Media Contact
Company Name APD Foundation Repair Contact Name Office Manager Phone 352-200-9740 Address 13049 Spring Hill Dr City Spring Hill State FL Postal Code 34609 Country United States Website https://apdfoundationrepair.com/
COMTEX_421490128/2759/2022-12-28T09:17:48
Unhinged predictions for Tampa Bay in 2023
Stephanie Hayeshttps://www.tampabay.com/opinion/2022/12/29/tampa-bay-tom-brady-gisele-bundchen-police-chief-thunderbug-tropicana-field-elon-musk-water-street/
Happy New Year, Tampa Bay. The blank calendar slate before us is exhilarating and terrifying. Remember the first week of January 2021? It started with hope for a better tomorrow and ended with Arnold Schwarzenegger giving America a stern talking-to over his sword. And remember 2022? No, neither do I.There’s no use in setting actual expectations for what lies ahead, because each year only...
Happy New Year, Tampa Bay. The blank calendar slate before us is exhilarating and terrifying. Remember the first week of January 2021? It started with hope for a better tomorrow and ended with Arnold Schwarzenegger giving America a stern talking-to over his sword. And remember 2022? No, neither do I.
There’s no use in setting actual expectations for what lies ahead, because each year only seems to end with more grand jury investigations. So, let’s play a little absurd prediction bingo for our suddenly sexy region, shall we? At least three of these will come true:
Gisele Bündchen becomes owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in a total “Ted Lasso” move. While she initially seeks to destroy the team, her goodness and light will win out. This ends with a Christmas special.
Tom Brady leaves sports, broadcasting and all his protein-packed businesses behind to become one of the Weeki Wachee mermaids. He is happier than ever.
Florida scientists accidentally breed giant snails, bufo toads and lovebugs into one creature that escapes the lab and spreads quickly, terrorizing the metropolis. And still, people move to Florida en masse.
Speaking of, the state becomes so full of people from Michigan that the entire state of Michigan stands vacant, forcing all native Floridians to move to Michigan to find affordable housing.
Pink neon signs, whimsical wallpaper and faux greenery hedges are out at trendy restaurants. Indie sleaze selfies are back, complete with your mom’s phone number in Sharpie on the bathroom wall.
Craft breweries and kratom shops contract, making way for more focus on craft waters and craft air.
Inflation and supply chain issues force the Florida Department of Transportation to scale back plans for the new stretch of the Howard Frankland Bridge. It will now be golf cart, roller blade and unicycle lanes only.
Buoyed by the popularity of the giant flamingo sculpture, Tampa International Airport adds another Florida wildlife treasure in the form of a floor-to-ceiling Skunk Ape.
The SunRunner learns to moonwalk.
Developers tout “micro-micro-micro living” in new 200-square-foot “closetapartments.” The sink is the toilet is the bathtub is the dishwasher. Starting in the low $400,000s.
One painfully average man in Tampa Bay stumbles upon an unassuming yet magical amulet that repels all hurricanes from Florida for the entire year. Please.
Tampa Mayor Jane Castor appoints ThunderBug as police chief, citing his widespread popularity and how good he looks in blue.
John Cena, noted actor, wrestler and local thought leader, joins the staff of the Tampa Bay Times as a critic-at-large. Welcome, John.
Netflix cancels “Love is Blind Tampa” after realizing none of the applicants actually want to get married.
All Tropicana Field development plans are scrapped in favor of the site becoming a Rooms To Go Outlet.
The Tampa Bay Rays stun everyone by moving to Spring Hill, which has had plenty of space this whole time.
Spend your days with Hayes
Elon Musk buys a Water Street condo, starts showing up at Naked Farmer and finally announces his intention to purchase a controlling interest in the Florida governor’s office, though that’s not how any of this works.
Thanks to Times staff writers Paul Guzzo, Justine Griffin, Tony Marrero, Gabrielle Calise and Bernadette Berdychowski for their contributions.
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